Turning Around

I was in a fog recently. A spiritual fog. I couldn’t see God in my situation. He just wasn’t doing anything. And what was I doing? Worrying.

My struggle with worry is my most persistent sin. When I get caught up in it, I can’t see God. I just realized why. It’s because sin separates us from God. When I’m caught up in my sin, I have my back to God. It’s no wonder I can’t see Him!

My new definition of sin is this: Sin is turning your back on God. We tend to think of sin in terms of certain actions people do, like lying or stealing or, for the “really bad” sinners, murdering. But I believe sin starts before the sinful action. It starts with an attitude, a perspective, of turning our backs on God. And when we’ve turned our backs on him, there are all kinds of awful things we can do.

What can we do about this sorry state of affairs? Because of Jesus, the solution is simple. We simply turn around. We turn to God and turn our backs on our sin. This is the essence of repentance. The dictionary definition of repentance is “to turn from sin” or “to change one’s mind.” But the point of repentance is not what you’re turning away from, but what you’re turning towards. So my new definition of repentance is this: Turning your back on your sin and turning towards God.

This, for me, makes repentance more than an occasional, “oh no, I did it wrong again, I need to repent” kind of event. Instead, we need a lifestyle of repentance, of continually turning towards God. The truth of our sinful condition is that, without wanting to, without even noticing it, we constantly turn back around, away from Him. We need to, just as constantly, turn back to Him, and we need to do it all day long.

When I’ve turned to God, when I’m looking at Him, those things I’m worrying about just don’t seem as hopeless. My sin loses its power over me. The fog clears, and I CAN see God at work. I can see how big He is and how much He loves me. All I need to do is turn to Him. Again and again. 

Looking Back

What do you find when you look back on your life? Do you see your mistakes and your regrets? Do you focus more on your accomplishments and your successes? I think there’s something else that we can see if we look for it.

As I’ve been reading through the Bible this summer, the whole history of Israel has been laid out before me in a very short time. So many times of rebellion and disobedience, of confusion and misperception about God, and a few people who knew God intimately: Abraham, Moses, David. But on the whole, if you look at the history of the Israelites, you see some times of being faithful to God, but mostly mutiny and defiance and just plain foolishness.

I read Psalm 107 yesterday, which catalogues some history, some situations various people found themselves in, and how God delivered them, and ends with this verse: “Those who are wise will take all this to heart; they will see in our history the faithful love of the Lord.”

It’s true. The most consistent, overriding element of the history of the Israelites is the faithfulness of God. He’s the hero of the story. He continued to rescue and deliver them, to forgive and redeem them, time after time after time, in spite of their habitual rebellion. His faithful love. His loving kindness. His mercy and grace, given to a people so undeserving.

But am I any different? Am I any less rebellious and disobedient? I fail to trust Him, I do things my own way, I forget about Him. There have also been times of obedience and growth. And yet my history, too, is His Story. I see, in my history, the faithful love of the Lord. His mercy. His grace. How He never gave up on me, but continued to shower me with blessings, to teach me, to lead me, and to invite me to know Him. That is what I want to see when I look back.  Not my failures. Not my accomplishments. But the faithful love of the Lord. He's always doing something, and it's always something good. When I look back, the most important thing about me is Him. 

Every Word

“Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

Sound familiar? I came across this well-known verse in Deuteronomy last week.  I’ve seen many explanations of this verse saying this means that we need to read our Bibles. But as I look at the verse in context, I don’t think that’s the main point, though it’s certainly a good thing to do.

Moses is talking to the second generation of Egypt-freed Israelites, explaining that God used their 40-year journey through the wilderness to test them and humble them and find out their character, and teach them to obey Him. “Yes,” Moses says, “he humbled you by letting you go hungry and then feeding you with manna, a food previously unknown to you and your ancestors. He did it to teach you that people do not live by bread alone; rather, we live by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord” (Deut. 8:3). Moses warns the people to be careful when they enter the land and become prosperous, that they do not become proud and forget the God who redeemed them, led them through the wilderness, and brought them into the promised land, and whom they had covenanted to love and obey.

The verse is addressing pride and humility, and our tendency to take credit for ourselves rather than depend on God. Humans were not designed to be just physical creatures—we don’t live on bread alone. Rather we were designed to worship and love God, and we fulfill our purpose by recognizing our dependence on God for everything—we hang on His every word, we live by His breath, we exist because He wills it.

I think Jesus was saying the same thing when he quoted this verse to Satan during his Temptation. Satan tried to play on Jesus’ hunger and appeal to His pride by tempting Him to provide for his own needs. Jesus said, essentially, “I am more than my physical hunger, and I depend on God for everything, not my own power.”

Of course, part of our dependence on God involves spending time in His presence, learning to know Him, listening to Him, and, yes, reading His Word, so we can make that application, but there’s more. So much more. All our strength, our success, our energy, and all our blessings come from Him.  In Him, we live, and move, and have our being.

(I've embarked on a marathon of Bible reading this summer with my church--to read the entire Bible in 90 days. More notes to follow!)

Man of Sorrows

What shall I do with the crucifixion?

I’m fine with the Resurrection. It’s joyful, hopeful, and makes me want to reach up on tiptoes and raise my arms high in praise to a Mighty God. The Easter Sunday service is great. But what about a Good Friday service? What’s the point of that? Am I supposed to feel sad? To forget that Jesus is alive? Should I try to enter into His pain and feel what He felt?

I’m not sure yet. Here’s what I do know: Without the crucifixion there could be no resurrection. The resurrection is only significant because Jesus was dead. Not only because he was dead, but because he willingly took upon himself the sins of the human race. He became sin. What does the death of Jesus mean? I found such clear answers this morning in Isaiah 53:

He carried------------------our weaknesses.

He was weighed down------------by our sorrows.

Pierced-------------------for our rebellion

Crushed-----------------for our sins

Beaten------------------so we could be whole

Whipped---------------so we could be healed

The sins of all of us--------------laid on him

His life an offering--------------for sin

He makes it possible-----------for us to be counted righteous

For he bears-----------------all our sins.

Him-------------------------- for us.

It’s all about Jesus----------and what he did for us. 

The Cross stands at the Center of the Universe, the single most important thing in all creation. Yes, it’s an empty Cross, but it stands for both the death AND resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ. We’d do well to pay attention and spend some time--------at the Cross. 

Helpless

I don’t think anybody likes to be helpless. I certainly don’t. Strength is better. Being in control is more comfortable. But is being helpless necessary for sincere and effective prayer? I’ve been reading a book called “A Praying Life” by Paul E. Miller that has made me think about this.

The people who came to Jesus needing help came because they were helpless. They couldn't get help anywhere else and they knew it. Knowing it, though, is the key. I've been thinking a lot about dependency lately--our need to depend on God and how hard it can be. But actually, we do not need to depend on God. We need to acknowledge our dependency on God. We are already dependent--for our very breath, for our next heartbeat. He is the Sovereign Being of the Universe and we exist only because He wills it. We are completely dependent on Him.

But humans have the incredible capacity to create an alternate reality and then live it in. We can say there is no God, and then live as if there is no God, but our belief does not make God disappear. He certainly still exists. And we can say and feel like we are not dependent on God, and then live that way, but in reality, we are still completely dependent on Him. The key is to admit our helplessness, to acknowledge our dependency. If we do not feel dependent on God, then we will not pray, or if we do, we pray out of duty, because it seems the right thing to do, not because we really need anything, or expect God to do anything. Haven't you found that it's when we are weakest that we experience and appreciate God's strength the most, that our prayers really mean something? Like God's words to Paul: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." I think a lot of the time, we'd rather our own abilities be sufficient for us. We'd rather be strong than weak. But actually, we're not strong in ourselves. We're not meant to be. We were created to be dependent. 

Wow. Just another of the ways Jesus turns our "normal" upside down. So very opposite to what our culture tells us. I want to grow in acknowledging and even embracing my helplessness. The things I feel helpless about normally lead to anxiety for me, but really they should lead to an opening of myself for more grace. Make it so, Lord Jesus!